It's been forever, although I've meant to come back. Finally had something big enough to come back with. I am through with women/dating. I've had enough of the nonsense and games, the dishonesty, the lack of basic respect and common courtesy. The remainder of the post will cover it in detail. Seven different situations in the same year have pushed me past my breaking point.
First up, Super Bowl Sunday. I'm at my friends' place and I go answer the door. This attractive woman says she has the wrong place. She then comes back up a minute later and figures out that she has the right place. As the game went on, she and I somehow ended up sitting next to each other and also found ourselves being the only ones watching the game (and talking to each other about it). I didn't try to talk to her then because I honestly felt terrible most of the time after working out earlier that day. I did tell the hostess that I was interested a few days later. Long story short, the girl and I started talking.
Conversation was decent, and we had a few other things in common. She had the idea of us playing some one-on-one basketball, which I agreed to. She and I talked a few more times and talked about seeing each other again. We set something up, but she kept pushing it back (maybe 3-4 times, IIRC). At that point I clearly had lost interest and never called her to confirm the date. When she didn't call back, I knew I made the right decision.
Second situation: this I can't even blame on Tallahassee, as this one occurred at home of all places. Maybe a couple weeks before I went home, someone asked me when I would be down there. I told her when I'd be there and she then said that I'd figure out how to get in contact with her, which I did. We exchanged numbers and a couple weeks later I was home. Called her after I was there for a couple days. Normal run-of-the-mill five-hour conversation. Couple days after that, she invited me to a concert she was going to. We met up and had a great time. Concert was great, we walked and talked afterward, and she hugged me tighter and longer than anyone ever has. Including family and including relationships. The next night I spent with family and friends (separately), during which I texted her and explained why I wasn't going to call that night. She said she was cool with it and I told her I'd call her the following night, which I did. She returned my call...11 days later. To top it all off, she called at 12:40 AM on a Friday night/Saturday morning. Now anybody who knows me knows I was dancing at L'Boulevard Cafe. I listened to the voicemail and I texted her to let her know that I got the message but was at the club and would call her back the next day. This time it only took her three days to return my call. We maybe talked for 20 minutes, and it was clearly awkward. I did invite her out to see Transformers with a few friends and me for my birthday, knowing she would decline. She said yes...and then didn't show. Funny thing is she still talks to me online like nothing happened. Part of me wanted to cuss her out, part of me wanted to ask her what happened. I wasn't even attracted to her like that. I could have been in time, but I surely wasn't yet so we're not talking about a "coming on too strong" or suffocating situation.
At the end of my birthday week I actually met someone else at a club. We had good conversation and she seemed to really be into me. We saw each other once before I came back here and she said she traveled a lot and would come up here. I called her pretty regularly, and then two weeks later I called and found out she changed her number…without telling me. Everything was going great, no sign of anything bad…but poof.
The fourth instance happened in late August. I wasn't having the best night to begin with (thanks to seeing my ex), but this pretty girl made it all better. We started dancing together and every time she moved to a different spot on the floor she held my hand and led me to wherever she was going. She even kept dancing with me after her friend left the floor. Left the floor herself and actually came back to find me - in a different spot than where we were before. After all that, she then asked me my name (although I was going to ask her and she honestly just beat me to it). She said she had to go and I asked for her number. She said she didn't have a phone (which gave me pause, but I played along) but gave me her email address and said to email her. I put it in my phone and showed it to her for verification. I emailed her Sunday afternoon...nothing.
There are two that really pushed me over the edge. This one is the first, and it goes back almost 13 years. Spring 1999 I met this girl at a friend’s birthday party. We hit it off really well, went out and had great times together, the whole nine. Somehow we lost touch. In late September she found me on FB. We talked for a while that night…and just about every other night. Once again, things were going great for a few weeks. I then started to notice that she was on FB less and less around late October. Finally in early November I saw a status she had and asked her about it. She played it off and we had a normal conversation…until she asked why I was still single and I said I was waiting for her to take me off the market. She told me then that she was talking to someone else the whole time. Actually had the nerve to still say she wanted to meet for lunch in Orlando when I went down there. At first I agreed, but later thought better of it.
Situation #6…basically, I met someone who only wanted to communicate via text message. Truth be told, I wasn’t that into her (the texting thing was a big part of that) but I was getting over the above situation so I gave her more of a chance than I should have. As if the texting thing wasn’t bad enough, we only texted once a week. I’d start and she’d reply and all, until she wouldn’t. Wash, rinse, repeat. Finally got tired of the nonsense and stopped texting her after Thanksgiving.
The last situation, as one would imagine, is the one that really did it. Went to a housewarming party. Started talking to this girl who was sitting on the couch next to me. Turned out we had a few similarities. Conversation was really good, and then we danced together for a while. She actually played some music that I’d previously only heard at my favorite club (some bachata I hear at L’Boulevard Café, for my Miami people). Things couldn’t have been any better. She’d had a long day and was really tired, so she actually fell asleep on me on the sofa for two hours. I just let her sleep. She finally woke up and we went our separate ways. We talked and had great conversation, and had two wonderful dates. She even kissed me on the lips at the end of both dates. After the second date, though; our conversations became much shorter and less frequent. I called her last Wednesday and three days later she still hadn’t returned my call. I really started to wonder about things. Going against my own better judgment, I called her again. She apologized and said she was really busy. She called Sunday and asked me to meet her at a park. We walked and talked and she gave me the “you’re a great guy, but…” speech. Now this wasn’t that bad, as she said she still wanted to be friends and keep our dinner plans for tonight (Wednesday) that we made before she gave the speech. So tonight comes and I call her. Of course, she forgot all about it.
You go through that many situations in which women can’t/don’t show you even basic human respect and common courtesy, you reach the point that I’m at – which is that of being through.
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